Condensed update:
I am still in remission. I have only had two PET scans. One in May and one in July. May PET scan showed areas of cancer in several places in my body. After four rounds of chemo I had my second PET scan that showed no cancer. I am in remission!! Great news. I will have my next PET scan in February. Then, if the cancer is still in remission, I can have my port removed from my chest. I am tired of the port and really hoping to be done with it. Until February, I will go in for monthly lab work and a port flush. To keep my port from blood clots they need to flush it occasionally. So for now I just wait. I have an appointment in December about being a cancer survivor. What are my long term effects from chemotherapy? What do I need to watch for in the future? ETC...
Longer update:
I like to give people the option of the shorter update. Its more factual, less emotional. In case you've already reached your maximum emotional capacity for the day. Some more in depth details about post chemotherapy for me. Physically, I am still tired. I wonder what normal feels like now. When Ben says he is tired and exhausted, I am reminded that this is a normal feeling at times for people. Tired and exhausted have kind of been the constant normal for me the past several months. I have this unrealistic expectation that once my body goes back to "normal" that I will have an endless supply of energy. ;) Another physical lingering side effect is sore muscles. I stand up after sitting and I look 50 years older than I am. I can hardly straighten my body. My muscles are really sore all the time. Another weird symptom, is my fingers lock at night. This may sound like no big deal, but its actually painful and uncomfortable. I wake up and cannot straighten my fingers. With some work and time they straighten eventually. My doctor thinks its from the Lupron injections I was on. Those were the injections I took that were suppose to preserve my fertility. We are still unsure what the future will hold regarding fertility. If we are still able to have children, the doctor has recommended at least a year to try for a child. My body needs time to recover. After being pregnant in 2013, having a baby in 2014, nursing a child for a year, then going through chemotherapy, I am 110% okay with that. Another obvious physical change is a lot of my hair is gone. I never went bald, which I guess is unusual (dr said 9 out of 10 lose all their hair on the drugs I was on). But I still feel I have gone through a small identity crisis. I think I found a lot of my worth and identity in my appearance in the past. I've struggled with not being able to look the way I want to look. It's vanity... but its the truth. This is my blog so I get to put what I want in here. I also have struggled with my weight while being on chemo. It's a depressing feeling to not be able to fit in your clothing. Even though I don't think I am fat, I still want to fit in my clothes. I was much more accepting of gaining weight for a child.
Emotionally, wow, should I even go here?? ha! Emotionally, I am doing well actually. My hormones are all over the place because of the drugs I was on. I have felt a large range of emotions. Depressed from the long days, weeks, and months of sickness. Discouraged, then encouraged. Scared and anxious, then completely at peace. Alone, then surrounded.
Since its the day after Thanksgiving, I will end this blog with things I am thankful for. Not in any particular order.
1. Health. Which only God can supply. I am thankful for the means that God uses. Included in those are the medical staff that have been with me through this.
2. God working on me. This is the greatest blessing. God is not going to leave me in my stagnant faith. Thankful for the means of grace in my life.
3. Our church and the church. The building we go to on Sundays, and the people that also go there. First Evangelical Free Church in Sioux Falls. Wow, this place and these people have supported us. They have prayed, they have loved us. And found many other ways to meet our needs. And the church.... As in all the people that know God and are His people. I have met strangers that have been faithful in prayer for me. I didn't want to lose it in front of a stranger, so I had to just say thank you to one guy and walk away. I just bawled as I walked away. How can a complete stranger care for me that way?? It's Jesus! His church, his people.
4. Family. Most specifically Ben. In sickness and in health, he has been faithful. Also, the rest of my family. Which includes my married family too. I have had great support.
There is SO much to be thankful for. I could go on for quite a while, but this post is getting long enough. There is an update for now.
