Update

I had my fourth chemotherapy on Monday. Same routine- labs, doctor appointment, then infusion. I saw a different oncologist this time because my doctor is on vacation. We really liked this doctor. He was honest but his honesty was in our favor because the news was good. He said my blood work looked good. He said it didn't look like the blood work of someone going through chemotherapy. This was encouraging. He also gave me the advice to "live my life". Within reason of course. His advice to live my life came after Ben and I asked several questions. Should we do this? Should we not do this? He was a little more laid back about activities than our normal oncologist. He also scheduled a PET scan for July 10th. This scan will tell us where we are at with progress on the cancer. To remind you there is cancer in three areas of my body. My neck, chest, and spleen. Our hope is that the areas with the cancer are much smaller. We already have some proof of this from my chest x-ray I had a few weeks ago. The area in my chest had already shrunk some. If the cancer is responding well, than the chances of them getting rid of the cancer are great! This is good news! If the cancer is responding well, I will only 8 more infusions, then done!

Our life these days looks fairly normal. I have chemo every two weeks. The week following I am sick. Mainly with mild nausea, exhaustion, a lack of sleep, some weakness, and just an overall icky feeling. My second week I almost start feeling normal, or what I remember normal to be. I have been able to meet with friends, do some mild activity and enjoy our life. Things are going well. For the circumstances, we are doing great. I just want to say again to all who are praying... thank you. I really need you all.

Health

You know that feeling when you are sick for several days and then you get feeling better and its like you've come up for air? And you thank God you are healthy... And you swear you will never take your health for granted again? I have been there. Some of my most fervent prayers have been while sick. I am reminded of this today.

Today I am discouraged. It's been fairly easy to stay up beat about all of this. Great odds of beating this type of cancer. But no one likes being sick.  And today after feeling sick for five days straight, I'm a little down. Five more months of feeling significantly ill for a week. Five. more. months. Trying to stay encouraged, trying to stay grounded in truth. I am tired of being tired. Tired of feeling sick. Tired of all the other symptoms.

I ask for your prayers and encouragement as I face being ill each chemo round. It's not been easy even though I am doing better than most.

The new normal

I've done three infusions. I'm starting to find a new normal in life. We've found a routine and we are starting to know what to expect. Chemotherapy day is usually uneventful. We start with lab draws from my arm. Then we meet with our oncologist. Then the infusion chair where the chemotherapy is administered. The lab draws are still a struggle for me, you would think after all of this I would have conquered my irrational fears, but I havent. Meeting with the oncologist today gave us more hope for healing. He showed us my chest x-Ray from last week, and you can see in the X-ray that the mass in my chest is much smaller, you can almost not see it anymore. So we know the chemo is working! I had a chest X-ray, pulmonary function test and EKG last week due to some intense chest pains. It turned out to be heartburn but they needed to be sure because the chemo can cause problems with the heart and lungs. The days after chemo are usually spent in bed or resting. I feel my worst those first four days after chemo. Mild nausea, an extreme exhaustion, insomnia at night, sensitive skin, mouth sensitivity, and a few other more personal unpleasantries.
Cora is doing great with my mom caring for her. I'm getting to rest whenever I need. Mom is keeping our home and helping with whatever we need. It's been such a relief to have someone to watch Cora for chemo days, and all my other appointments. I also get to rest whenever I need to! I know, you don't have to tell me, we've got it made! :-)
If you're interested, well, even if you're not, I'm going to share a few things we've learned lately. I think the first is that our community, church, friends, family, and even strangers are showing us God's love for us. Because God loves us he is using his church, his people to reach out to us and love us. This is humbling, this is overwhelming. Bringing us a meal, sending us cards, praying for us, sending a care package or flowers, gifts, helping us, in all forms this is God using his church! What a privilege! I am just convicted and overwhelmed in one. The love is awesome, and we need it!! But I'm convicted because we all need it, right? The couple with too many responsibilities that feels they are drowning daily, all those tired mama's out there that feel desperate and overwhelmed, those with health ailments, broken relationships, an aching for a spouse, loneliness, marriage difficulties, loss of a child. We've all got hurts and trials. We all need love. I think what cancer has taught me most recently is that there is no end to the love that needs to be poured out on all people. I pray that God will use me like he has used so many of you in my life! The need is great, find someone to love!

Post chemo round 2

I am humbled and grateful if you care enough to read this. Thank you for the love and support. Thank you to anyone that has called, texted, brought us meals, sent care packages, cards, volunteered in our basement, flowers, I know there is more, but my mind is foggy. All of you that have offered to help in any capacity... thank you. I would be depressed and struggling without support from people.

I had my second administering of chemotherapy today. It went way better than the last time. I did not pass out and the actual needle hurt less. My wound from the surgery placing that port is better too. So I am not as sensitive in that area. Chemo was uneventful. Ben and I talked and read, and watched some TV. The only news worth sharing from today was meeting with our oncologist. He said that my blood counts looked good. My organ function isn't being effected from what he can see on the blood test. My lungs are doing well too. There is a chance of lung damage from one of the chemo drugs, and it doesn't seem to be a factor for me at this point. He asked about all my symptoms, and it seems I am doing unusually well. In fact, after I answered his questions about how I've felt in the last two weeks his response was that I am doing better than 99% of his other patients on chemotherapy. He also did an exam on me and could not feel my lymph nodes at all, which two weeks ago were bulging from my neck. This is also good news because it means the chemo is working. :) We were encouraged today. I am bracing for a rough few days post chemo, but thankful for all the good news today. I know people are praying for us. God doesn't always answer prayers how we would like, but for us, he has been merciful and is answering our prayers.





Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
    you who have done great things.
    Who is like you, God?
20 Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
    you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
    and comfort me once more.
Psalm 71:19-21