I had my fourth chemotherapy on Monday. Same routine- labs, doctor appointment, then infusion. I saw a different oncologist this time because my doctor is on vacation. We really liked this doctor. He was honest but his honesty was in our favor because the news was good. He said my blood work looked good. He said it didn't look like the blood work of someone going through chemotherapy. This was encouraging. He also gave me the advice to "live my life". Within reason of course. His advice to live my life came after Ben and I asked several questions. Should we do this? Should we not do this? He was a little more laid back about activities than our normal oncologist. He also scheduled a PET scan for July 10th. This scan will tell us where we are at with progress on the cancer. To remind you there is cancer in three areas of my body. My neck, chest, and spleen. Our hope is that the areas with the cancer are much smaller. We already have some proof of this from my chest x-ray I had a few weeks ago. The area in my chest had already shrunk some. If the cancer is responding well, than the chances of them getting rid of the cancer are great! This is good news! If the cancer is responding well, I will only 8 more infusions, then done!
Our life these days looks fairly normal. I have chemo every two weeks. The week following I am sick. Mainly with mild nausea, exhaustion, a lack of sleep, some weakness, and just an overall icky feeling. My second week I almost start feeling normal, or what I remember normal to be. I have been able to meet with friends, do some mild activity and enjoy our life. Things are going well. For the circumstances, we are doing great. I just want to say again to all who are praying... thank you. I really need you all.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Health
You know that feeling when you are sick for several days and then you get feeling better and its like you've come up for air? And you thank God you are healthy... And you swear you will never take your health for granted again? I have been there. Some of my most fervent prayers have been while sick. I am reminded of this today.
Today I am discouraged. It's been fairly easy to stay up beat about all of this. Great odds of beating this type of cancer. But no one likes being sick. And today after feeling sick for five days straight, I'm a little down. Five more months of feeling significantly ill for a week. Five. more. months. Trying to stay encouraged, trying to stay grounded in truth. I am tired of being tired. Tired of feeling sick. Tired of all the other symptoms.
I ask for your prayers and encouragement as I face being ill each chemo round. It's not been easy even though I am doing better than most.
Today I am discouraged. It's been fairly easy to stay up beat about all of this. Great odds of beating this type of cancer. But no one likes being sick. And today after feeling sick for five days straight, I'm a little down. Five more months of feeling significantly ill for a week. Five. more. months. Trying to stay encouraged, trying to stay grounded in truth. I am tired of being tired. Tired of feeling sick. Tired of all the other symptoms.
I ask for your prayers and encouragement as I face being ill each chemo round. It's not been easy even though I am doing better than most.
Monday, June 15, 2015
The new normal
I've done three infusions. I'm starting to find a new normal in life. We've found a routine and we are starting to know what to expect. Chemotherapy day is usually uneventful. We start with lab draws from my arm. Then we meet with our oncologist. Then the infusion chair where the chemotherapy is administered. The lab draws are still a struggle for me, you would think after all of this I would have conquered my irrational fears, but I havent. Meeting with the oncologist today gave us more hope for healing. He showed us my chest x-Ray from last week, and you can see in the X-ray that the mass in my chest is much smaller, you can almost not see it anymore. So we know the chemo is working! I had a chest X-ray, pulmonary function test and EKG last week due to some intense chest pains. It turned out to be heartburn but they needed to be sure because the chemo can cause problems with the heart and lungs. The days after chemo are usually spent in bed or resting. I feel my worst those first four days after chemo. Mild nausea, an extreme exhaustion, insomnia at night, sensitive skin, mouth sensitivity, and a few other more personal unpleasantries.
Cora is doing great with my mom caring for her. I'm getting to rest whenever I need. Mom is keeping our home and helping with whatever we need. It's been such a relief to have someone to watch Cora for chemo days, and all my other appointments. I also get to rest whenever I need to! I know, you don't have to tell me, we've got it made! :-)
If you're interested, well, even if you're not, I'm going to share a few things we've learned lately. I think the first is that our community, church, friends, family, and even strangers are showing us God's love for us. Because God loves us he is using his church, his people to reach out to us and love us. This is humbling, this is overwhelming. Bringing us a meal, sending us cards, praying for us, sending a care package or flowers, gifts, helping us, in all forms this is God using his church! What a privilege! I am just convicted and overwhelmed in one. The love is awesome, and we need it!! But I'm convicted because we all need it, right? The couple with too many responsibilities that feels they are drowning daily, all those tired mama's out there that feel desperate and overwhelmed, those with health ailments, broken relationships, an aching for a spouse, loneliness, marriage difficulties, loss of a child. We've all got hurts and trials. We all need love. I think what cancer has taught me most recently is that there is no end to the love that needs to be poured out on all people. I pray that God will use me like he has used so many of you in my life! The need is great, find someone to love!
Cora is doing great with my mom caring for her. I'm getting to rest whenever I need. Mom is keeping our home and helping with whatever we need. It's been such a relief to have someone to watch Cora for chemo days, and all my other appointments. I also get to rest whenever I need to! I know, you don't have to tell me, we've got it made! :-)
If you're interested, well, even if you're not, I'm going to share a few things we've learned lately. I think the first is that our community, church, friends, family, and even strangers are showing us God's love for us. Because God loves us he is using his church, his people to reach out to us and love us. This is humbling, this is overwhelming. Bringing us a meal, sending us cards, praying for us, sending a care package or flowers, gifts, helping us, in all forms this is God using his church! What a privilege! I am just convicted and overwhelmed in one. The love is awesome, and we need it!! But I'm convicted because we all need it, right? The couple with too many responsibilities that feels they are drowning daily, all those tired mama's out there that feel desperate and overwhelmed, those with health ailments, broken relationships, an aching for a spouse, loneliness, marriage difficulties, loss of a child. We've all got hurts and trials. We all need love. I think what cancer has taught me most recently is that there is no end to the love that needs to be poured out on all people. I pray that God will use me like he has used so many of you in my life! The need is great, find someone to love!
Monday, June 1, 2015
Post chemo round 2
I am humbled and grateful if you care enough to read this. Thank you for the love and support. Thank you to anyone that has called, texted, brought us meals, sent care packages, cards, volunteered in our basement, flowers, I know there is more, but my mind is foggy. All of you that have offered to help in any capacity... thank you. I would be depressed and struggling without support from people.
I had my second administering of chemotherapy today. It went way better than the last time. I did not pass out and the actual needle hurt less. My wound from the surgery placing that port is better too. So I am not as sensitive in that area. Chemo was uneventful. Ben and I talked and read, and watched some TV. The only news worth sharing from today was meeting with our oncologist. He said that my blood counts looked good. My organ function isn't being effected from what he can see on the blood test. My lungs are doing well too. There is a chance of lung damage from one of the chemo drugs, and it doesn't seem to be a factor for me at this point. He asked about all my symptoms, and it seems I am doing unusually well. In fact, after I answered his questions about how I've felt in the last two weeks his response was that I am doing better than 99% of his other patients on chemotherapy. He also did an exam on me and could not feel my lymph nodes at all, which two weeks ago were bulging from my neck. This is also good news because it means the chemo is working. :) We were encouraged today. I am bracing for a rough few days post chemo, but thankful for all the good news today. I know people are praying for us. God doesn't always answer prayers how we would like, but for us, he has been merciful and is answering our prayers.
Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
you who have done great things.
Who is like you, God?
20 Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
and comfort me once more.
Psalm 71:19-21
I had my second administering of chemotherapy today. It went way better than the last time. I did not pass out and the actual needle hurt less. My wound from the surgery placing that port is better too. So I am not as sensitive in that area. Chemo was uneventful. Ben and I talked and read, and watched some TV. The only news worth sharing from today was meeting with our oncologist. He said that my blood counts looked good. My organ function isn't being effected from what he can see on the blood test. My lungs are doing well too. There is a chance of lung damage from one of the chemo drugs, and it doesn't seem to be a factor for me at this point. He asked about all my symptoms, and it seems I am doing unusually well. In fact, after I answered his questions about how I've felt in the last two weeks his response was that I am doing better than 99% of his other patients on chemotherapy. He also did an exam on me and could not feel my lymph nodes at all, which two weeks ago were bulging from my neck. This is also good news because it means the chemo is working. :) We were encouraged today. I am bracing for a rough few days post chemo, but thankful for all the good news today. I know people are praying for us. God doesn't always answer prayers how we would like, but for us, he has been merciful and is answering our prayers.
Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
you who have done great things.
Who is like you, God?
20 Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
and comfort me once more.
Psalm 71:19-21
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Good morning. I have a brief update. Yesterday started day one of my treatment. A chemo cycle for me is 28 days, I receive chemo on day 1 and day 14. Twice a month, for six months if everything goes okay. After two cycles, or four treatments, I will have another PET scan so they can see if the cancer is responding to the chemo. If it is, I will continue for four months. If it is not responding like they would like, I will be on chemo much longer. He didn't even talk about how much longer because I know it would be discouraging. So we are hopeful. Six months, please God.
Yesterday started at 9:30. We drove to the hospital to start my first chemo treatment. I prayed while Ben drove, asking for peace and strength for us. Shortly after we checked in, Ben's parents met us in the waiting room. Support and prayer while I was in there for treatment. We were blown away by their love and kindness. If you don't know them, they are giving to say the least. To their children, but to everyone! They both needed to be at work, but made a way to be there. I did't know how long they would stay, but they ended up walking us out at 2:30. Five hours, wow. Anyway, back to chemo, we did have a rough start. They needed to access my port. Instead of administering the chemo through a vein, they are administering it through my port. The port looks like a triangle, its right under the skin in my chest. There is nothing hanging out of my skin, they just puncture through the skin and are where they need to be. I dont understand it completely and I find it pretty disgusting. I have never donated blood, and have a really hard giving a blood sample at the doctors office. I have always have felt this way. I have fainted in the past at the doctors office. It all makes me a little squeamish. The past two weeks, I've done well for all my blood samples, IV's, and surgeries. But yesterday for some reason I lost it. As she was poking me and then flushing it, I started breathing heavy, sweat broke out, and then I was gone. I woke up with my feet up and a doctor standing over me. Later Ben told me he was yelling my name and trying to shake me awake. All that to say, next time they are going to have me take an anxiety medication before I get there. That situation started our morning but it got much better after that.
If you have ever been to a infusion center for chemotherapy, you can visualize it with me. It's kind of sad and hard place to be. Many people suffering the effects of chemotherapy and cancer sitting together in a room receiving treatment. Most of them without hair. Ben and I struggled as they started me on meds. We were afraid. Ben looked at me once and said "we are a bunch of weenies compared to these other people". Ha, he was right but I think I was the only one in there for the first time. Not much else to report as far as the chemo infusion goes, you sit there for hours as they come in and change a bag every once in a while.
As far as we have been educated, side effects vary from person to person. Some peak after several days. So, we are waiting to see how this will effect my body. So far my symptoms have been mild nausea. I am on many meds to combat nausea. The other effects are extreme exhaustion and feeling weak. I described it to Ben this way, you know when a hair tickles your face and
your quick reaction is to brush it aside, well, I feel so tired and weak that I don't brush it away. I contemplate if its worth the effort.
My mom is here to help us. This is such a relief. I don't have to worry how I will find the energy to care for Cora. I don't have to worry about anything really. We've had people meet our most basic needs and we are grateful beyond words. Food. Thank you to anyone that has brought us meals. Thank you for helping us in other basic ways, planting a garden, helping in our basement, cleaning our house, washing my hair, bringing over treats, getting me new pajamas. Thank you for any mail, texts, and calls. I appreciate them all so much. I keep trying to find ways to repay people, but I can't so just know we are so grateful. I couldn't do this without help from people. I couldn't do this without friends, our church family, and our families. We're blessed.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
2 Peter 5:6-7
Yesterday started at 9:30. We drove to the hospital to start my first chemo treatment. I prayed while Ben drove, asking for peace and strength for us. Shortly after we checked in, Ben's parents met us in the waiting room. Support and prayer while I was in there for treatment. We were blown away by their love and kindness. If you don't know them, they are giving to say the least. To their children, but to everyone! They both needed to be at work, but made a way to be there. I did't know how long they would stay, but they ended up walking us out at 2:30. Five hours, wow. Anyway, back to chemo, we did have a rough start. They needed to access my port. Instead of administering the chemo through a vein, they are administering it through my port. The port looks like a triangle, its right under the skin in my chest. There is nothing hanging out of my skin, they just puncture through the skin and are where they need to be. I dont understand it completely and I find it pretty disgusting. I have never donated blood, and have a really hard giving a blood sample at the doctors office. I have always have felt this way. I have fainted in the past at the doctors office. It all makes me a little squeamish. The past two weeks, I've done well for all my blood samples, IV's, and surgeries. But yesterday for some reason I lost it. As she was poking me and then flushing it, I started breathing heavy, sweat broke out, and then I was gone. I woke up with my feet up and a doctor standing over me. Later Ben told me he was yelling my name and trying to shake me awake. All that to say, next time they are going to have me take an anxiety medication before I get there. That situation started our morning but it got much better after that.
If you have ever been to a infusion center for chemotherapy, you can visualize it with me. It's kind of sad and hard place to be. Many people suffering the effects of chemotherapy and cancer sitting together in a room receiving treatment. Most of them without hair. Ben and I struggled as they started me on meds. We were afraid. Ben looked at me once and said "we are a bunch of weenies compared to these other people". Ha, he was right but I think I was the only one in there for the first time. Not much else to report as far as the chemo infusion goes, you sit there for hours as they come in and change a bag every once in a while.
As far as we have been educated, side effects vary from person to person. Some peak after several days. So, we are waiting to see how this will effect my body. So far my symptoms have been mild nausea. I am on many meds to combat nausea. The other effects are extreme exhaustion and feeling weak. I described it to Ben this way, you know when a hair tickles your face and
your quick reaction is to brush it aside, well, I feel so tired and weak that I don't brush it away. I contemplate if its worth the effort.
My mom is here to help us. This is such a relief. I don't have to worry how I will find the energy to care for Cora. I don't have to worry about anything really. We've had people meet our most basic needs and we are grateful beyond words. Food. Thank you to anyone that has brought us meals. Thank you for helping us in other basic ways, planting a garden, helping in our basement, cleaning our house, washing my hair, bringing over treats, getting me new pajamas. Thank you for any mail, texts, and calls. I appreciate them all so much. I keep trying to find ways to repay people, but I can't so just know we are so grateful. I couldn't do this without help from people. I couldn't do this without friends, our church family, and our families. We're blessed.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
2 Peter 5:6-7
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Cancer, so far
A blog... Welcome to our era right? I am a little late on the scene. With where we are in life right now, it seems like a good idea to keep friends and family informed. I will just be up front that I am not a writer, I am also not great with grammar or sentence structure. Please forgive me.
So, where to start... Throughout the last year life has seemed almost too good to be true. Our daughter was born early last year. Her life is one of the greatest blessings we've received... EVER. She has brought so much happiness in our lives. Ben and I would literally ask each other if life could be any sweeter. Not only did we have the blessing of her life, I also have been given the great pleasure of staying home with her and getting to be her full time care giver. I cannot describe in words the fulfillment this has brought. I love it! Easy, no, but so fulfilling. She really has changed us.
Back to present day, recently I discovered a lump on my neck. I had it checked out and it led many, many, MANY more tests which led to the diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma (stage 3), a type of cancer. Stage 3 means that it is not only in my neck, but has spread through my chest and into some organs. For sure my spleen, but I am not exactly sure where else. Our oncologist said the spots that are cancerous are smaller. Not huge masses of cancer. Which is good. How they treat stage 1 and 2 is with chemotherapy and radiation. Because stage 3 and 4 cover more areas of the body they rely on chemotherapy alone because giving radiation to nearly your whole body is not safe. Our doctor is positive and deeply caring. This is a true mercy from God! He told us maybe having stage 3 is a good thing, I don't have to do radiation. We will do 2 rounds of chemotherapy to start. Each round is two doses or two times administering chemotherapy. So four treatments and then we will do another PET scan to see if the cancer is responding to the chemotherapy. If it is, which our doctor was very confident it would be, then we will do 4 more rounds or 8 times administering chemotherapy. Chemotherapy will start a week from yesterday. Next Monday. It will take 3-4 hours to administer. Mondays will be a good day for us because Ben has Mondays off. He will get to sit with me for several hours while I get chemo. This is another mercy. Having to go through this doesn't seem as scary with Ben. He of course is wanting to trade places with me, but just having him along as support for everything I've had to go through so far has helped me. For this type of chemotherapy its a pretty certain guarantee I will lose all my hair. A small price for getting healthy I guess. Other side effects that are guaranteed is a weakened immune system. I will have to avoid places that are likely for bugs and germs. There is also a moderate chance for infections. Our doctor stressed a few times to just let them know immediately if I was getting a fever. I guess chemotherapy is pretty hard on the body. Can you tell I knew almost nothing about chemo before this? Other side effects are nausea and vomiting. He said I will be on strong medications to try and prevent this, but there is no guarantee. Another side effect is for my ovaries to be attacked and destroyed. There is a drug to try and suppress your ovaries while on chemotherapy so that they can come back and spring to life again after chemo. It's also not guaranteed to work, but there is good success with it. They will also be monitoring my heart and lungs as chemotherapy can be hard on these organs. There are many other side effects but these are the more prominent ones we were informed about. I obviously do not have a medical background so hopefully I am relaying the information we were given accurately. If you, like me, know/ knew nothing about Hodgkin's Lymphoma the good news it is a cancer that can be cured. This is not the case for some other cancers. How they define cured is if 5 years from now they do a scan on my body and find I still have no cancer after chemotherapy, then I am cured. It's gone. This is comforting to us. Another comfort is that if chemotherapy does not work, which our doctor said would be shocking if it didn't, there are more options. All of these facts are a great comfort. I will start chemotherapy next week and unless I get sick or have an infection, in which case we'll have to push back a round while I try and get better, should last until late November. Six months. That's a long time. But here is more good news, we will have help! We already are being supported and surrounded by family, friends, and our church family. If you fall into this group, which you likely do reading all of this, THANK YOU. I cannot say this enough. I really need people, encouragement, and love right now. SO THANK YOU SO MUCH. The help I am referring to more specifically is my mom. She is planning to put her life on hold for a few months and come help out. This is huge for us. Our daughter will be cared for, we will be fed, and life will continue in our household. We do not know what to expect on chemotherapy. We do know that it will probably change my ability to fully care for our daughter. Our doctor said there will likely be good and bad days. I may be able to do what I normally do most days with some modifications, but there will also probably be days I won't be able to do much of anything. And knowing we'll have constant help is comforting. We are going to play it by ear. It's kind of hard to make plans around an unknown situation.
Well, I think that sums up the last year and the last few weeks. Both the sweetest blessings in life and suffering. That is life though, right? I have been asked how we are feeling and doing with all of this. I will say this, we have Christ. That changes everything. We have His promises. Some of which are: He has our best interest in mind. He is present and active in this situation. He will never leave us. He loves us. He has my days numbered. He is still God, nothing has changed about his power or sovereignty. He has forgiven us and promised life eternal with Him in glory one day. We can trust Him through this. My life seemed almost too perfect the last year. There would be weeks that would go by and I would only occasionally pray or even acknowledge God in the workings of life. This cancer has forced us to rely on Him hourly. To completely depend on Him for strength and peace. So can I say this is good in our lives, because He has brought us to dependence on Him? I don't think I am ready to say that with an honest heart yet. Are we going there? I think so. I think God is preparing us to say this is good. This has brought many people, including us, to our knees.
I think that will be all for now.
So, where to start... Throughout the last year life has seemed almost too good to be true. Our daughter was born early last year. Her life is one of the greatest blessings we've received... EVER. She has brought so much happiness in our lives. Ben and I would literally ask each other if life could be any sweeter. Not only did we have the blessing of her life, I also have been given the great pleasure of staying home with her and getting to be her full time care giver. I cannot describe in words the fulfillment this has brought. I love it! Easy, no, but so fulfilling. She really has changed us.
Back to present day, recently I discovered a lump on my neck. I had it checked out and it led many, many, MANY more tests which led to the diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma (stage 3), a type of cancer. Stage 3 means that it is not only in my neck, but has spread through my chest and into some organs. For sure my spleen, but I am not exactly sure where else. Our oncologist said the spots that are cancerous are smaller. Not huge masses of cancer. Which is good. How they treat stage 1 and 2 is with chemotherapy and radiation. Because stage 3 and 4 cover more areas of the body they rely on chemotherapy alone because giving radiation to nearly your whole body is not safe. Our doctor is positive and deeply caring. This is a true mercy from God! He told us maybe having stage 3 is a good thing, I don't have to do radiation. We will do 2 rounds of chemotherapy to start. Each round is two doses or two times administering chemotherapy. So four treatments and then we will do another PET scan to see if the cancer is responding to the chemotherapy. If it is, which our doctor was very confident it would be, then we will do 4 more rounds or 8 times administering chemotherapy. Chemotherapy will start a week from yesterday. Next Monday. It will take 3-4 hours to administer. Mondays will be a good day for us because Ben has Mondays off. He will get to sit with me for several hours while I get chemo. This is another mercy. Having to go through this doesn't seem as scary with Ben. He of course is wanting to trade places with me, but just having him along as support for everything I've had to go through so far has helped me. For this type of chemotherapy its a pretty certain guarantee I will lose all my hair. A small price for getting healthy I guess. Other side effects that are guaranteed is a weakened immune system. I will have to avoid places that are likely for bugs and germs. There is also a moderate chance for infections. Our doctor stressed a few times to just let them know immediately if I was getting a fever. I guess chemotherapy is pretty hard on the body. Can you tell I knew almost nothing about chemo before this? Other side effects are nausea and vomiting. He said I will be on strong medications to try and prevent this, but there is no guarantee. Another side effect is for my ovaries to be attacked and destroyed. There is a drug to try and suppress your ovaries while on chemotherapy so that they can come back and spring to life again after chemo. It's also not guaranteed to work, but there is good success with it. They will also be monitoring my heart and lungs as chemotherapy can be hard on these organs. There are many other side effects but these are the more prominent ones we were informed about. I obviously do not have a medical background so hopefully I am relaying the information we were given accurately. If you, like me, know/ knew nothing about Hodgkin's Lymphoma the good news it is a cancer that can be cured. This is not the case for some other cancers. How they define cured is if 5 years from now they do a scan on my body and find I still have no cancer after chemotherapy, then I am cured. It's gone. This is comforting to us. Another comfort is that if chemotherapy does not work, which our doctor said would be shocking if it didn't, there are more options. All of these facts are a great comfort. I will start chemotherapy next week and unless I get sick or have an infection, in which case we'll have to push back a round while I try and get better, should last until late November. Six months. That's a long time. But here is more good news, we will have help! We already are being supported and surrounded by family, friends, and our church family. If you fall into this group, which you likely do reading all of this, THANK YOU. I cannot say this enough. I really need people, encouragement, and love right now. SO THANK YOU SO MUCH. The help I am referring to more specifically is my mom. She is planning to put her life on hold for a few months and come help out. This is huge for us. Our daughter will be cared for, we will be fed, and life will continue in our household. We do not know what to expect on chemotherapy. We do know that it will probably change my ability to fully care for our daughter. Our doctor said there will likely be good and bad days. I may be able to do what I normally do most days with some modifications, but there will also probably be days I won't be able to do much of anything. And knowing we'll have constant help is comforting. We are going to play it by ear. It's kind of hard to make plans around an unknown situation.
Well, I think that sums up the last year and the last few weeks. Both the sweetest blessings in life and suffering. That is life though, right? I have been asked how we are feeling and doing with all of this. I will say this, we have Christ. That changes everything. We have His promises. Some of which are: He has our best interest in mind. He is present and active in this situation. He will never leave us. He loves us. He has my days numbered. He is still God, nothing has changed about his power or sovereignty. He has forgiven us and promised life eternal with Him in glory one day. We can trust Him through this. My life seemed almost too perfect the last year. There would be weeks that would go by and I would only occasionally pray or even acknowledge God in the workings of life. This cancer has forced us to rely on Him hourly. To completely depend on Him for strength and peace. So can I say this is good in our lives, because He has brought us to dependence on Him? I don't think I am ready to say that with an honest heart yet. Are we going there? I think so. I think God is preparing us to say this is good. This has brought many people, including us, to our knees.
I think that will be all for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)